I have to be honest with all of you.
I haven't posted in a long time.
I have changed so much since I started this blog. My whole life has changed.
I have different interests, friends, hobbies...
I'm almost a completely different person.
And because of that, I'm not going to suppress the person I really am for the sake of being the innocent sugar-sweet girl that used to run this blog.
Cause that's not the truth anymore.
If you saw me now, you'd be shocked. You'd be shocked that my walls are now covered in posters of my favourite bands, and a few selfies of me and my friends instead of the cute anime drawings and American Girl pictures that were stuck up there before.
You'd be shocked that I now wear jeans most of the time. (My grade 7/8 self would be scandalized to say the least) and how permanently scarred a part of my brain is because last year some of my best friends were a couple of guys in the grade above me. One of them still is. You get the idea. If you don't, don't ask. I don't want to pollute your innocent mind. Now thanks to them, I see something "wrong" with everything. You know what I'm talking about here.
You'd be shocked that slightly before my last post, was literally the first time I ever swore without thinking about what I was saying and actually knowing that what came out of my mouth was a bad word. (Yes that did actually happen, no I wasn't trying to offend anyone, no I didn't mean to say it, it just slipped out of my mouth because I wasn't being careful)
These days I'm more serious. I think more. I don't talk as much, I don't have as many friends as I used to. I'm not an Irish (or tap) dancer anymore.
My Taylor Swift CD's have yet to be touched this year. They've been shoved over to make room for My Chemical Romance, All Time Low, Andy Black, Sleeping With Sirens and Panic! At The Disco.
I'm not a horrible person, I like to think that I'm as genuinely nice and friendly as I was back then. I'm definitely more of an introvert now and I don't really like being around people, but that's okay. I can be really sweet when I'm around people I feel comfortable with and they haven't given me reason to despise them.
To be honest, in some ways, I was kind of stupid last year. There were some stupid things I did because I wanted to be liked, or I didn't want to be liked, or I just wanted to be dramatic. No, I don't really care to elaborate and would prefer not to ever have to think about that year of cringe known as grade 8 ever again in my life.
I'm probably going to abandon this blog, because it's just not who I am anymore. The things that made the past Jessica who she was, now have nothing to do with me. I'd feel stupid trying to pretend to be her, the tiny innocent little doll-obsessed potato that I used to be.
No, I'm never going to sell my dolls.
Don't even ask that.
Even if I don't play with them or get as much enjoyment out of them as I used to, they still hold a lot of really really great memories, and I couldn't bear to part with that. Until then, they sit on my bed looking pretty or my little sister plays with them. It's okay, they're still well-loved.
But yeah, so I guess this is goodbye for now. Maybe one day I'll start another blog, but not yet. I need some time to get my life in order again before I can commit to something. Thanks for the ride, everyone. I wouldn't have traded my past self for the world, I don't think. Even though looking back I was literally the most cringe-worthy person in existence.
Anyway, it's time to go.
So long and goodnight. (MCR fandom please don't cry I love you guys)